All hail Eskimo Jesus!

Eskimo Jesus is the god of the Nosiphus universe.
He is a powerful figure, with some of the following powers.

His trademark ability is to change water into Coca-Cola, anytime.
He can change water into Sprite every three months.
He is able to walk on water, but not Coke or Sprite.
He can drink air if he is thirsty.
He can breathe anything he wants to, including nothing.
He can stop time in order to rest.

His punishment for lack of belief is eternally swallowing "mayonnaise" from his holiness' touch-activated "faucet" for all eternity.

Eskimo Jesus and The Snowman get together every weekend to play card games. Eskimo Jesus is usually able to stop the Snowman's attempts to kill himself, because he has made the Snowman immortal.

Actual Facts
Eskimo Jesus was born on August 2, 2014 when Maguire failed to build a firefighter. The girl to his right was attempting to build a better fireman. Sean said that Maguire's construction looked like Eskimo Jesus, and the name stuck.

EJ first appeared in the March 1, 2015 broadcast of Nosiphus Nightly News with Sean Crain, and the scene where he removed his hat is one of Nosiphus' classic moments. That scene is in Random Bits.

Maguire Rodgers portrays Eskimo Jesus. 

Other Photos